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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

Covid-19 has caused most places in the US to run out of bathroom tissue.

1 upvotes • musicman827
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"After watering the plants, I need you to come to me to talk about something I saw in your phone," the wife told her husband.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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“Your time is running out.” He said as he walk towards me, knife in hand

1 upvotes • N_K-
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My husband divorced me so he could run away with a girl he had been shagging while I was at work

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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As the puff of smoke disappeared the prince found himself staring at the still puckered lips of Sir Sean Connery.

1 upvotes • mehdihs
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someone donates a kidney and suddenly everyone around them calls him a hero

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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One summer day, i had a corndog.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Mamma mia

1 upvotes • juanpablolaverde
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What did the pirate say when he saw your mama

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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A genius is dying in me!

1 upvotes • k-ska
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