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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I’m scared of toilets

129 upvotes • Ultmio
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I have not drank alcohol since my haydays in university.

129 upvotes • johnny_punchclock
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so I created a website for orphans

129 upvotes • FunnyDifficulty6
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Why is everybody scolding me for dating a woman the age of my car?

128 upvotes • Whocaresdamit
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"What Is Your Path To Life?"

128 upvotes • insrt4
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I know only 25 letters ,

128 upvotes • BlueOrca_27
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Most cats are square-minded,

128 upvotes • BeingAcidwithYOU45
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To comfort my little crying cousin about his bad grades, I told him I got bad grades too and look at how I'm doing now.

128 upvotes • [deleted]
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What do you call a creature that has one eye, two arms, and three legs?

128 upvotes • Bloxy_Boba
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[deleted by user]

128 upvotes • [deleted]
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