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/r/TwoSentenceHorror

The headaches and itching have gotten worse since I moved in with Jenny. NSFW

444 upvotes • HasturDragon
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I cannot wait to go home after this wicked war ends, I want to eat a well deserved sandwich

444 upvotes • ClassicGuy2010
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When our dog suddenly showed signs of going into labour, my wife and I nearly fainted in joy.

444 upvotes • SimbaTheSavage8
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I told my son his birthday wish wouldn't come true if he told me, so he smiled and stayed quiet as he blew out the candles

444 upvotes • Monechetti
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My best friend and I found out we had the same pediatrician as kids.

444 upvotes • [deleted]
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Ever since I was a young boy the dead would speak to me and tell me their life stories & secrets.

444 upvotes • kylecs7637
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"I got my booster shot last week, so I'm safe."

444 upvotes • Dinoguy56
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I don't know what's scarier, the fact that the man keeps knocking on our window.

444 upvotes • Boguldu
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"Everything will be okay..." I said to my daughter while I tucked her in to sleep

444 upvotes • GalaxycatMX
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I asked the nurse for a minute alone with my stillborn baby

444 upvotes • Original-Loquat3788
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