/r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I told my wife that I was leaving her for a younger woman while she was pulling up to her parents, and she ended up crashing into the house and killing us all.
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When I blew .29 on the breathalyzer at the scene of the crash, the police refused to believe that I’d never drank before.
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“Wait for me, sweetie,” I caught her just as she was about to run out the door, “you know you're not allowed to go out by yourself!”
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"The new experimental treatment has shown exceptional improvements even in patients that were deemed a lost cause.
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"This goddamned thing uses facial recognition to operate, and I can't get it open!" he cursed bitterly.
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