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/r/TwoSentenceSadness

"Teenage girls are always making up bullshit stories," he laughs.

445 upvotes • [deleted]
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Someone hired me to kill a person for their personal revenge.

445 upvotes • Not_Noob1
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I want my boyfriend to be my husband.

444 upvotes • [deleted]
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One evening, my insomniac brother left me an amusing voicemail informing me that he finally felt tired enough to simply drop off to sleep.

444 upvotes • JohnnyMyGuy
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"Why on earth are you agreeing to death row, he deserved it!" I roared at my homicidal mother.

444 upvotes • clavicle524
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Eyes are the windows to the soul.

444 upvotes • plinnamon
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I don’t want to eat my mom.

443 upvotes • cindybubbles
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A girl picks up her father’s whiskey.

443 upvotes • YaBoiDaviiid
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The cops told me she took her own last night.

443 upvotes • TheMakerOfStories
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[deleted by user]

442 upvotes • [deleted]
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