/u/BaronBigly's posts
After we got home from the hospital my dad sat me down and said “Look, it’s not all that hard to kill yourself, so when someone ‘tries to’ it’s usually just a cry for help.”
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After years of watching all my friends and family get selected before me while I wasted away on this dying planet surviving off the terrible government issued protein bars, I was finally selected for the next starship voyage to the new world.
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Facing imminent death, in sheer desperation he jumped into his copilots custom molded spacesuit and slammed the button to seal and pressurize.
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I got hit by a car while jogging and now I’m lying in a ditch with a broken hip, but at least the dumbass is pulling over to see if I’m okay.
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When my now fiancé didn’t even hesitate to opt for the expensive operation for his dog, it made me realize he’s the one because he’d clearly make a great father.
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I always found it adorable the way one of the local stray dogs would bring a leaf to my shop every day as “payment” for a snack.
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Mark as read: Add to a list
Mark as read: Add to a list