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/u/Cryptic_Nerd01's posts

"I sentence you to 30 years in prison for touching kids" the judge said with a bang of his gavel.

345 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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"I'm glad you finally decided to meet my mom", I said

308 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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As a kid, I always wondered what was in my closet

265 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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i sighed as i woke up to no "happy new years" texts...

261 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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as the judge read my sentence for sexual assault I couldn't help but look at the girl

112 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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"I still cant believed she overdosed on cocaine" her husband said

100 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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Yesterday I got a text from my famous friend saying "can I call you?'

83 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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I sighed with relief, knowing I shot all the aliens NSFW

80 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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when cleaning the animatronic, the worker noticed it smelled

70 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I'm finally meeting my online girlfriend today! NSFW

65 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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