/u/DangDog_crapper_god's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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As a 911 operator, all I have to do at work is sit in a chair and wait for calls.

24 upvotes

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I wasn't to sad to hear about my parents car crash, you expect your parents to expire.

19 upvotes

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I smiled as I heard my daughter go Snap Crackle Pop.

19 upvotes

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Out of all the roommates I've had, the ones that stay longer are my favorite.

15 upvotes

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As a timelord, I am required to rewind the end of humanity to the dawn of time.

13 upvotes

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I looked my daughters bullh in the eyes as I slit his throat, watching the light fade.

10 upvotes

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I stared into my webcam and laughed at the funny scene before me.

5 upvotes

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I was relieved to reach the bathroom before my twin brothers.

5 upvotes

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Mommy, what's dark humor?

4 upvotes

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Ok, on the count of three I'm going to set the bone, One....Two.

4 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
As a 911 operator, all I have to do at work is sit in a chair and wait for calls.	24
I wasn't to sad to hear about my parents car crash, you expect your parents to expire.	19
I smiled as I heard my daughter go Snap Crackle Pop.	19
Out of all the roommates I've had, the ones that stay longer are my favorite.	15
As a timelord, I am required to rewind the end of humanity to the dawn of time.	13
I looked my daughters bullh in the eyes as I slit his throat, watching the light fade.	10
I stared into my webcam and laughed at the funny scene before me.	5
I was relieved to reach the bathroom before my twin brothers.	5
Mommy, what's dark humor?	4
Ok, on the count of three I'm going to set the bone, One....Two.	4