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/u/GuyAwks's posts

Thousands of avid viewers are tuning in right now to watch my massive eating show.

70 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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My first thought as I slowly come to is that I must have fallen off the wagon.

70 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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“Customers are reminded that all Tesco stores are safe spaces, so if you’re ever feeling unsafe, take shelter here.”

69 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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"We'll be together again in no time" I reassured my paranoid girlfriend as I boarded the rollercoaster without her.

69 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I snarl with jealousy as my picture-perfect rival wins yet another award at the school assembly.

68 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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Stunningly Realistic Halloween Decorations

67 upvotes • r/shortscarystories
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“What are we?” my girlfriend inquired emotionally, asking me the question I’d been dreading.

66 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I never thought I’d ever wish suffering upon a child, especially my own.

66 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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“How can you tell apart honey bees and killer bees?” asks my date, admiring the buzzing insects.

65 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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"Why am I the only person invited to my 50-year class reunion who doesn't get a plus one?"

65 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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