/u/H2Oceanic's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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I don't know whether I should be concerned or relieved.

12 upvotes

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Losing my parents in a car accident is the best thing that could have happened to me.

11 upvotes

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My husband was in the shower, when his phone rang, so I reached across the bed and answered it.

11 upvotes

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Always salt your pasta water instead of using oil.

11 upvotes

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I have absolutely no time for people who hate peanut butter.

11 upvotes

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After I started receiving anonymous death threats, my husband organised for the police to guard our home around the clock.

11 upvotes

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"A worm don't fill no one, but a fish feeds us all."

10 upvotes

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In order to quit drinking, I gave up my soul to God.

10 upvotes

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"Is anybody here a doctor?"

10 upvotes

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I made a big entrance at the gender reveal party by tripping over the live stork they hired

9 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I don't know whether I should be concerned or relieved.	12
Losing my parents in a car accident is the best thing that could have happened to me.	11
My husband was in the shower, when his phone rang, so I reached across the bed and answered it.	11
Always salt your pasta water instead of using oil.	11
I have absolutely no time for people who hate peanut butter.	11
After I started receiving anonymous death threats, my husband organised for the police to guard our home around the clock.	11
"A worm don't fill no one, but a fish feeds us all."	10
In order to quit drinking, I gave up my soul to God.	10
"Is anybody here a doctor?"	10
I made a big entrance at the gender reveal party by tripping over the live stork they hired	9