/u/Spugnacious's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

'... the trick is to get the blood pressure rating before placing the head into the jar... once you do that you can keep it alive indefinitely.' He said in a bland clinical tone as he looked at his clipboard.

38 upvotes

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Hey Buddy, I stopped by your house for a snack and put the leftovers in the fridge for you.

35 upvotes

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The woman promised me that this was the most effective weight loss drug ever, that the weight would literally disappear from my frame.

20 upvotes

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'It... well it.. uh... appears that your skin has... evolved sentience of it's own... somehow.'

17 upvotes

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'Remember, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!'

17 upvotes

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The voice on the phone screamed 'It's starting!' and then went dead abruptly.

15 upvotes

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'I know, I know, I can't come into your home until I am invited inside.', he said with a large smile that displayed those very unnerving fangs.

14 upvotes

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We had autopsied, embalmed and buried my wife last month.

9 upvotes

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'This is the best weight loss plan ever, you will see the weight disappear from your body!' The woman happily exclaimed as I signed the contract.

1 upvotes

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The senator bellowed into the microphone that he would never allow them to take away our guns and violate our second amendment rights.

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
'... the trick is to get the blood pressure rating before placing the head into the jar... once you do that you can keep it alive indefinitely.' He said in a bland clinical tone as he looked at his clipboard.	38
Hey Buddy, I stopped by your house for a snack and put the leftovers in the fridge for you.	35
The woman promised me that this was the most effective weight loss drug ever, that the weight would literally disappear from my frame.	20
'It... well it.. uh... appears that your skin has... evolved sentience of it's own... somehow.'	17
'Remember, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!'	17
The voice on the phone screamed 'It's starting!' and then went dead abruptly.	15
'I know, I know, I can't come into your home until I am invited inside.', he said with a large smile that displayed those very unnerving fangs.	14
We had autopsied, embalmed and buried my wife last month.	9
'This is the best weight loss plan ever, you will see the weight disappear from your body!' The woman happily exclaimed as I signed the contract.	1
The senator bellowed into the microphone that he would never allow them to take away our guns and violate our second amendment rights.	1