/u/StonedColdKiller997's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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I was outraged when the undercover cop placed me under arrest for going 5 miles over the limit.

7227 upvotes

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The jury found me guilty of child abuse and murder, but I never laid a hand on my child.

5117 upvotes

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I told my girlfriend that she looks perfect just like she is, and that there's no need to change a thing.

3800 upvotes

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After my girlfriend had been missing for weeks, I would have given anything to see her face again.

3792 upvotes

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He was my son, and I was going to care for him no matter what - even if it meant feeding him human flesh.

3785 upvotes

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"Whatever you do to her," my girlfriend's father told me, "I'm going to do to 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

3676 upvotes

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People may think it's creepy, but I love my life-size doll collection.

2786 upvotes

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After trying to get pregnant for ten years with no success, finally holding my baby daughter in my arms is everything I always hoped it would be.

2573 upvotes

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I don't know what kind of razor-beaked nightmare hatched from that strange egg I found, but it apparently thinks I'm its mother.

2291 upvotes

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I was so desperate to keep my family from starving, I agreed to sell one of my kidneys on the underground organ market.

2044 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I was outraged when the undercover cop placed me under arrest for going 5 miles over the limit.	7227
The jury found me guilty of child abuse and murder, but I never laid a hand on my child.	5117
I told my girlfriend that she looks perfect just like she is, and that there's no need to change a thing.	3800
After my girlfriend had been missing for weeks, I would have given anything to see her face again.	3792
He was my son, and I was going to care for him no matter what - even if it meant feeding him human flesh.	3785
"Whatever you do to her," my girlfriend's father told me, "I'm going to do to 𝘺𝘰𝘶."	3676
People may think it's creepy, but I love my life-size doll collection.	2786
After trying to get pregnant for ten years with no success, finally holding my baby daughter in my arms is everything I always hoped it would be.	2573
I don't know what kind of razor-beaked nightmare hatched from that strange egg I found, but it apparently thinks I'm its mother.	2291
I was so desperate to keep my family from starving, I agreed to sell one of my kidneys on the underground organ market.	2044