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/u/Whocaresdamit's
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/r/TwoSentenceComedy
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"Son, can you get my duster?"
81 upvotes
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What is the biggest red flag you've seen someone give?
65 upvotes
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Ashley always said she wanted to sleep with a married man.
64 upvotes
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I can't stop stealing people's cars.
58 upvotes
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Agatha Gunn gave her name to the bank clerk
38 upvotes
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My commander told me to shoot everything that moves
30 upvotes
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The shortages of fuel, food and power are over now
21 upvotes
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Mom always told me to never go into a soundproof basement
17 upvotes
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My date is on the passenger seat
12 upvotes
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My favorite song is Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode
9 upvotes
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Add to a list
"Son, can you get my duster?"
81
--
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
What is the biggest red flag you've seen someone give?
65
--
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
Ashley always said she wanted to sleep with a married man.
64
--
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
I can't stop stealing people's cars.
58
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10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
Agatha Gunn gave her name to the bank clerk
38
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10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
My commander told me to shoot everything that moves
30
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10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
The shortages of fuel, food and power are over now
21
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9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
Mom always told me to never go into a soundproof basement
17
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9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
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My date is on the passenger seat
12
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9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
My favorite song is Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode
9
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