/u/dalonley1's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

I love a nice hot shower to get me going in the morning

16 upvotes

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I was so angry with my son when I drove off that I completely ignored his teachers text saying his bag was still in the trunk

15 upvotes

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I was awakened from the coma by my new puppy, Fred licking my face.

15 upvotes

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I am getting sick of my girl constantly telling me how good I am in bed because I know she is only saying it, so I'll let her spend the night.

11 upvotes

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I keep telling my wife to stop giving me spoilers when I'm watching TV.

10 upvotes

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"Just one piece of candy a day," she warned the babysitter as she got into the car and drove away.

8 upvotes

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Bruised and battered the troops marched proudly up the mountain, driving by their imposing leaders great worlds.

7 upvotes

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My empire is worth millions because almost my entire work force is mad up of disabled people.

4 upvotes

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I rushed home expecting to find my wife with another man, so you could imagine my surprise when I got there and found her in bed alone.

4 upvotes

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I found her lying on the bed, drenched in blood, begging me for my help while he lay on top of her with a look of pure hatred in his eyes.

3 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I love a nice hot shower to get me going in the morning	16
I was so angry with my son when I drove off that I completely ignored his teachers text saying his bag was still in the trunk	15
I was awakened from the coma by my new puppy, Fred licking my face.	15
I am getting sick of my girl constantly telling me how good I am in bed because I know she is only saying it, so I'll let her spend the night.	11
I keep telling my wife to stop giving me spoilers when I'm watching TV.	10
"Just one piece of candy a day," she warned the babysitter as she got into the car and drove away.	8
Bruised and battered the troops marched proudly up the mountain, driving by their imposing leaders great worlds.	7
My empire is worth millions because almost my entire work force is mad up of disabled people.	4
I rushed home expecting to find my wife with another man, so you could imagine my surprise when I got there and found her in bed alone.	4
I found her lying on the bed, drenched in blood, begging me for my help while he lay on top of her with a look of pure hatred in his eyes.	3