/u/dalonley1's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror
My parents said they are so pleased that I passed all my tests they might take me out for a special family dinner tonight.
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After sneaking in the back door, I got overwhelmed by those little... monsters and had to use my baseball bat to fight my way out.
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After spending too much time planning out the procedure, the antistatic began to wear off before he even finished the first incision.
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When my wife found me in bed with her sister and didn't go insane, I assumed she was into it and invited her to join us.
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I pushed my daughter down the stairs before she could tell my husband that I was cheating, and now she's in a coma.
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My daughter whispered, "I think the monster is going to catch Daddy this time," to my wife while pointing to the doorway behind me.
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