/u/gdmfsoabrb's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

My water has been tasting funny lately so I took apart the faucet for cleaning.

16 upvotes

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Mother used to say my fingernails would grow faster the more I trimmed them, but I liked to keep them short.

16 upvotes

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Putting such a fine, sharp edge on my weapons is a slow and tedious process.

15 upvotes

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Turns out "the gods must be crazy" isn't commentary on the state of the world.

11 upvotes

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Quarterly earnings were lower than projected again.

5 upvotes

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My doctor said I need to start watching what I eat.

5 upvotes

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I absolutely love the taste of my husband's semen.

4 upvotes

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After the accident I told the cops I'd lost control because of ice on the road.

1 upvotes

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My son's alarm clock went off just as I was leaving for work, as usual.

1 upvotes

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My dog has been an invaluable hunting partner ever since society collapsed.

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My water has been tasting funny lately so I took apart the faucet for cleaning.	16
Mother used to say my fingernails would grow faster the more I trimmed them, but I liked to keep them short.	16
Putting such a fine, sharp edge on my weapons is a slow and tedious process.	15
Turns out "the gods must be crazy" isn't commentary on the state of the world.	11
Quarterly earnings were lower than projected again.	5
My doctor said I need to start watching what I eat.	5
I absolutely love the taste of my husband's semen.	4
After the accident I told the cops I'd lost control because of ice on the road.	1
My son's alarm clock went off just as I was leaving for work, as usual.	1
My dog has been an invaluable hunting partner ever since society collapsed.	1