/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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In all our myths and stories, we always thought the dead would come back biting.

60 upvotes

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My boyfriend is taking me to some fancy event, he said I’ll be the guest of honor!

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I don't understand why it's so damn expensive to neuter a dog.

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"What's worse: the idea of having to kill your brother for your own survival, or the idea of being murdered by him?"

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I bought the uniform on ebay.

59 upvotes

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I thought my writing was really good, but those bastard critics described my writing as forgettable and mediocre- they even said my writing was dull!

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"Excuse me, I'd like to speak to your manager."

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I put up as much resistance as I could but my husband dragged me by the arm.

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“No, please,” the priest begged, “leave me alone!”

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You could say surgery is a bit of a hobby of mine.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
In all our myths and stories, we always thought the dead would come back biting.	60
My boyfriend is taking me to some fancy event, he said I’ll be the guest of honor!	60
I don't understand why it's so damn expensive to neuter a dog.	60
"What's worse: the idea of having to kill your brother for your own survival, or the idea of being murdered by him?"	60
I bought the uniform on ebay.	59
I thought my writing was really good, but those bastard critics described my writing as forgettable and mediocre- they even said my writing was dull!	58
"Excuse me, I'd like to speak to your manager."	58
I put up as much resistance as I could but my husband dragged me by the arm.	57
“No, please,” the priest begged, “leave me alone!”	57
You could say surgery is a bit of a hobby of mine.	57