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/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts

Life hack: to get the police to stop investigating your crimes, just murder them.

0 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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"PLEASE," she sobbed, "don't rape me!"

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After dinner, I always throw the dog a bone.

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I'm gonna bone up on your mom tonight.

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Turns out Hitler had a son...

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I don’t understand those superstitious losers who try to use magic and cast love spells on their crushes- they are wasting their time.

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Hello God, If my dad doesn’t come home safe from the hospital...

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The nukes fell, and we were just far enough from the city to survive the blast.

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What does it mean when one hair is a lot longer than the others,

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Those whores used to be all over my man.

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