/u/powerofthePP's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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I thought it would be hilarious to rig my roommate’s new Squatty Potty so that it broke on him mid poo.

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I thought it would be hilarious to pee in my cat’s litter box when I was drunk.

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When I learned that men held urine in their “bladder” and not their testicles, it made a lot of sense.

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I’ve known Uriah for forty years and he’s always looked exactly the same despite living the most depraved lifestyle imaginable.

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“Let’s check his temperature!” one guy suggested, looking around for a device.

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“Everyone got out safely before the fire spread—little T.J., Susie, even all the animals,” I assured my neighbor as he lay gasping his final breaths.

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I have the gift of acquiring the memories of anyone I touch; all my lovers have the night of their lives as I dredge their sexiest experiences.

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I did a terrible thing that I truly regret—I got drunk and fucked a corpse.

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The little boy aspired to be just like his heroic firefighter dad; he practiced doing everything he saw him do.

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The bathroom in our Airbnb was incredible, boasting heated floors and a toilet with a built in bidet.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I thought it would be hilarious to rig my roommate’s new Squatty Potty so that it broke on him mid poo.	1
I thought it would be hilarious to pee in my cat’s litter box when I was drunk.	1
When I learned that men held urine in their “bladder” and not their testicles, it made a lot of sense.	1
I’ve known Uriah for forty years and he’s always looked exactly the same despite living the most depraved lifestyle imaginable.	1
“Let’s check his temperature!” one guy suggested, looking around for a device.	1
“Everyone got out safely before the fire spread—little T.J., Susie, even all the animals,” I assured my neighbor as he lay gasping his final breaths.	1
I have the gift of acquiring the memories of anyone I touch; all my lovers have the night of their lives as I dredge their sexiest experiences.	1
I did a terrible thing that I truly regret—I got drunk and fucked a corpse.	1
The little boy aspired to be just like his heroic firefighter dad; he practiced doing everything he saw him do.	1
The bathroom in our Airbnb was incredible, boasting heated floors and a toilet with a built in bidet.	1