/u/thehumanbaconater's posts
I clearly put my name and the words Do No Eat on the brown bag that contained my lunch and placed it in the back of the fridge, hidden behind several other items.
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My parent's pact with the devil resulted in the horrific death of my first friend, first crush, first kiss, first child, and everything that's ever mattered.
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We have made significant progress in refining the science of mind reprogramming through algorithms cleverly embedded within social media posts, with only 1 in 200 individuals showing a gradual increase in suicidal or homicidal inclinations.
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I hate coming off as an insecure guy, so I tried to play it cool when my girlfriend told me about her body count which was nearly double mine.
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My mom told me she’d kill me if I even thought about telling anyone what she really is, but I need someone to believe me.
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I tried to tell my father that I was terrified of 🤡 clowns 🤡, but he just said we could talk about it on the way to the family reunion.
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I watched as the strange man grabbed my 7-year-old child and pulled them into a van, abducting them and racing away.
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