/u/therealdocturner's posts
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I caught her cheating for the fifth time so I cut her up while she screamed that she loved me, and then I buried her in the forest behind the house.
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As I lay dying surrounded by the authorities who shot me, I think about all the people I’ve murdered and I smile as this old body takes its last ragged breath.
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For the last twenty three years I've worked for the N.Y.P.D., and my main function has been going out of windows and talking people out of jumping to their deaths.
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After having him in my life for seven years I can tell that he would rather be with that bitch than me, and I realize that I have to do something about it.
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My new boyfriend left a note on my front door that said, “Mark and I made a little mess, but don’t worry, I’ll pick it all up when I come back with dinner ;)”
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