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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

his mom's last words were: "subway's 12inch-footLongs are only 11" long"

73 upvotes • wondererSkull
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We cocked our rifles and barged into the bank

73 upvotes • rollandduck
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"Yes, 'flatulence' is when you have gas."

73 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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I’ve decided to go on 1000 diets at once!

73 upvotes • Jussi_Wade_1755
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My roommate asked if he could use my electric shaver this morning and I agreed.

73 upvotes • Ace-a-Nova1
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The number One says to Zero, "Because of you, I'm not just any one."

73 upvotes • Maximum-Product-1255
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I had just finished writing my story and wrote "the end" but then my keyboard wrote "is comming" all on its own.

73 upvotes • EvieEeveeEvie
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When I asked what the odds were, my friend joked "1, 3, 5, 7."

73 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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I put the sexy in dyslexic

73 upvotes • QwertelTheHuman
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Smallpox is the least of our concerns.

72 upvotes • SliceLegitimate8674
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