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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

You know what turns me off?

8 upvotes • insrt4
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With all of the free time I've had I decided to try my hand at gardening, but for some reason I'm having terrible luck.

8 upvotes • [deleted]
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This app was sponsored by "AIDS: Shadow Legends".

8 upvotes • [deleted]
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Speed dating is what the highway is all about.

8 upvotes • Embarrassingleader7
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I told my mother that there was a monster under her bed, but she didn't believe me.

8 upvotes • [deleted]
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I lowered myself into the bathtub after a long, hard day of work.

8 upvotes • Upstairs_Spirit2923
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If you’re sick of my constant puns, I could start farting instead.

8 upvotes • BasementDweller3000
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[deleted by user]

8 upvotes • [deleted]
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My comedy is like a fitness club. Every time I tell a joke the crowd gets thinner

8 upvotes • Captain_Fartbeard
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"Hey, is this little plant dead?"

8 upvotes • Tramelo
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