/u/BasementDweller3000's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Only show posts with narrations

I wish my son would learn how to walk.

821 upvotes

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As sweat runs down his brow I can see the world champion of ‘Never Have I Ever’ knows he’s in grave danger of losing his title to me.

299 upvotes

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The giant space lasers were supposed to deter the end of the world.

185 upvotes

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Our relationship went flat...

26 upvotes

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Feels crispy.

24 upvotes

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I have the absolute worse case of writer’s block.

19 upvotes

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I took my Apple Watch back to the store because it was alerting me “You will die in 3 days”.

13 upvotes

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Fantasy worlds have their nerds too.

9 upvotes

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If you’re sick of my constant puns, I could start farting instead.

8 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I wish my son would learn how to walk.	821
As sweat runs down his brow I can see the world champion of ‘Never Have I Ever’ knows he’s in grave danger of losing his title to me.	299
The giant space lasers were supposed to deter the end of the world.	185
Our relationship went flat...	26
Feels crispy.	24
I have the absolute worse case of writer’s block.	19
I took my Apple Watch back to the store because it was alerting me “You will die in 3 days”.	13
Fantasy worlds have their nerds too.	9
If you’re sick of my constant puns, I could start farting instead.	8