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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

My uncle got arrested yesterday for putting a camera on bracelet he gave me.

3 upvotes • [deleted]
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I woke up at 4 A.M to hear a gut wrenching wail.

3 upvotes • stormsmasher23
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It is very cheap to have a girlfriend that is fed by the sunlight.

3 upvotes • [deleted]
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the girl i kept on my basement said let me out.i replied ooh i wont let you go

3 upvotes • crisp108
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"Babe I wanna try anal tonight," my girlfriend suggested, and I excitedly agreed.

3 upvotes • [deleted]
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I start running away as fast as I can from the man in my room but I trip

3 upvotes • arrivederchijojo
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The judge read my sentences for what had started out as a little family drama.

3 upvotes • Baldeagle77
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(NSFW) My first 2 children were planned but the third one was an accident... NSFW

3 upvotes • [deleted]
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A man walks into the hospital with his penis completely ripped to shreds, so the doctor said he could fix it if there was a logical explanation.

3 upvotes • [deleted]
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If y’all really wanna laugh, look at the reviews for croc pots on Amazon.

3 upvotes • [deleted]
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