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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I have so much contact with females, females go inside me all the time.

1 upvotes • Western-Armadillo724
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They say beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.

1 upvotes • Carcinization_Fan
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"It was unfortunate, therefore that the demented unicorns joined the brawl and skewered me not ten minutes ago!" Flavius Flibbersmitch said, reclining in his plush afterlife chair. "But enough about me, how did you die?"

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Finally a my meatballs are ready

1 upvotes • Yeekom
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I’d kill for something delicious right now, my stomach is gnawing at me.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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You pick up your nose

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Some people like hair on a man's chest.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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My dog would always scratch on the door when he wanted to come back in from the garden.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Then she said it, the words I have been dreading finally was said by my wife.

1 upvotes • The_Beastly_Boom
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The pen(is) mightier than the sword

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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