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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I wake up in the morning to check my phone.

1 upvotes • sonix685
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I am a women's man, a feminist & a harbinger of matriarchy.

1 upvotes • Appropriate-Spot3085
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She's so large, not even a Mexican cartel has enough firearms to stop her.

1 upvotes • XenoWolf8_5
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So apparently in Norway all the military ships have giant barcodes on the side of them. As they enter the port through a narrow channel, the barcodes are checked by port securiy, they Scandinavian.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Does WorldBox give delirium of omnipotence?

1 upvotes • xbenetti
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I want my baby back.

1 upvotes • ---handmade
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A frog and a monkey and a horse walk into a bar

1 upvotes • Interestingbruh
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My husband kissed me and whispered, "you have your mother's eyes...

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Aliens were invading, the Antichrist rose up out of hell, but the world ended not with them, but with...

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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a horse and a monkey walk into a bar

1 upvotes • Interestingbruh
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