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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

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1 upvotes • [deleted]
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[DEC2020] Sitting on Santa's lap is fun because you can sit on blood and cocaine!

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Last night, I caught my octogenarian neighbors getting freaky in their living room with their curtains open.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Translated Up how. into romanian.

1 upvotes • BiblicallyVainia
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I noticed one of my neighbor’s car truck was opened and went to tell them rang the doorbell heard shouting before someone opened and thank me.

1 upvotes • timelordderpy
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Kicking a child is a lot like kicking a puppy.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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I was standing right near my friend Carmine as she was suddenly run over.

1 upvotes • DismalDude77
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What's a student murderer's biggest fear?

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Bubbles

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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I used to be so nervous talking to woman

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