/r/WritingPrompts
[WP] 1,000 years after the battle of Helm's Deep, the orcs have tracked down the elves in the undying lands. Calling in a favour with their allies the men, the elves expect an army of 10,000. Instead they get 8 marines with MASERs, rail guns and anti-matter grenade launchers.
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[WP] "Are you sure that translation is accurate?" "Yes sir." "But we nuked them, we threw everything we have at their mothership!" "I'm afraid we've barely scratched it." "Are they being sarcastic then?" "No sir, the aliens honestly think we're the most adorable thing in the galaxy."
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[WP] Legend says there are 77777 secret paths to immortality, but each path will only work once. In 2014, the first person accidentally achieved immortality by sticking a French fry into her nostril and pulling it out the other intact. Human behaviour has since become more... interesting.
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[WP] Aliens have invaded to conquer and enslave humanity, however "slavery" to them involves only working the equivalent of 12 hours a week while having healthy food, shelter, and means of entertainment taken care of so the human resistance is having trouble with defectors preferring to be slaves.
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[WP] Magic is real, except ley lines are on a galactic scale, not a planetary one. Earth was moving through one in the era of the Ancient Egyptians and Stone Henge, again in the Middle Ages, and is about to enter another one
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[WP] Years ago, you were a feared warrior, until a witch cast a spell on you. "May you never hurt or kill anyone by blade, word or through any other means." Now, you are the world's greatest healer. You just open your clients and do random stuff. After all, you cannot possibly hurt them!
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[WP]The demonology professor spoke to the class "and if you must sell your soul to a demon, at least bother to summon two and make them bid up the price."
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[WP] You and your immortal friends amuse yourselves with practical jokes. Since you're immortal, some of your joke setups take centuries, or even millenia, to execute.
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[WP] You read a comment on reddit so stupid your IQ drops to negative leading to an integer error. Congratulations, now you have 2,147,483,647 IQ.
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[EU] With Voldemort's army closing in the students try one last trick, they try to summon a power they have only a vague notion of, from stories told by muggles. After uttering "Accio NATO air support", theromobaric bombs start dropping, and they learn how brutal muggle warfare is.
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