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/r/fifthworldproblems

A cackling alley cat winked at me this morning, and now I can’t stop using “scare quotes.” Any “advice?” I’ll do “anything you say” just please “make it stop.”

115 upvotes • InTheAbstrakt
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Help! I'm a sleep paralysis demon & the person hallucinating me is having a heart attack - what do I do?

69 upvotes • LondonBugs
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Please help! My license for using my skeleton runs out and I can't renew

40 upvotes • bf2gud
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I punched my calendar and knocked the month out cold…

31 upvotes • Wack_isCrAck
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My followers keep pledging their lives and souls to me. How do I explain to them that I have no interest in something so useless and insignificant?

28 upvotes • Chordus
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Schism in The Order of Soap

23 upvotes • Farfelkugeln
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Why did Byzantines get new nomens? That's nobody's business but the Romans.

18 upvotes • Anarchaeologist
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I saw a dead worm in a pop singer's brain

16 upvotes • samof1994
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A dark wizard stole the soles of my shoes

15 upvotes • samof1994
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I ate mystery meat

15 upvotes • samof1994
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