/r/monkeyspaw
I wish there was world peace, no impure thoughts or actions, and people would be satisfied with this forever without violence or hatred.
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I wish that for 1 standard 24-hour day, all the rain that falls on the planet falls on Monowi, Nebraska instead
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I wish the first woman who gave me a blowjob didn't gag when she removed the condom to give me a uncovered blowjob after trying to make me cum by fucking me like a pornstar and licking and kissing my neck on and off as she tried various positions
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I wish I could turn into a dog temporarily so I can hump people in public without getting arrested and beaten up
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I wish used panties flew to my head like hungry seagulls zeroing in on a McDonald's meal left unattended
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I wish the monkeys paw would grant people exactly what they want instead of what they want in the worst way possible
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I wish women in video games didn't look like manly feminists I wouldn't even fuck in real life even if they were begging for my cock naked
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I wish that I don't end up on The Maury Show because an elephant thought I was one of ten men who might have impregnated her
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I wish any sort of soda exploded in a persons face if specifically I gave it to them on a Tuesday at 3:24pm in Sydney (not physically just 3:24pm in Sydney) in July but not immediately but after 3 minutes and 24 seconds of them holding it and if they open the tab before it changes into a 2L sprite.
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