/u/1800generalkenobi's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

I once sought asylum in an old woman's home during a storm with the only condition that I do the same for someone in return.

11946 upvotes

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Since all the cows died out, ice cream has become something of a luxury and no one has ever asked where I've gotten it from.

3593 upvotes

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As I stare at the old man in the mirror, I was saddened that the young man I used to be was gone.

254 upvotes

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My toddler always laughed the hardest when I pretended to eat her.

179 upvotes

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I took my son hunting for the first time yesterday.

64 upvotes

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I was told, as long as I truly believed, I could do anything.

47 upvotes

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I'm having trouble remembering the fifth s for consoling a screaming newborn. Shush, swing, side, swaddle, and...

18 upvotes

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In the heat of the moment, she asked me if I had had a vasectomy and I told her I had and I didn't even want kids.

12 upvotes

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Until you deal with car seats you don't know how freeing it is when your kids can get in and out of the car mostly by themselves.

11 upvotes

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My kids love Bluey, and upon finding a feather on our walk, one of them picked it up, pointed it at their infant brother, and said, “Heavy!”

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I once sought asylum in an old woman's home during a storm with the only condition that I do the same for someone in return.	11946
Since all the cows died out, ice cream has become something of a luxury and no one has ever asked where I've gotten it from.	3593
As I stare at the old man in the mirror, I was saddened that the young man I used to be was gone.	254
My toddler always laughed the hardest when I pretended to eat her.	179
I took my son hunting for the first time yesterday.	64
I was told, as long as I truly believed, I could do anything.	47
I'm having trouble remembering the fifth s for consoling a screaming newborn. Shush, swing, side, swaddle, and...	18
In the heat of the moment, she asked me if I had had a vasectomy and I told her I had and I didn't even want kids.	12
Until you deal with car seats you don't know how freeing it is when your kids can get in and out of the car mostly by themselves.	11
My kids love Bluey, and upon finding a feather on our walk, one of them picked it up, pointed it at their infant brother, and said, “Heavy!”	1