WritingPrompts

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[WP]The immortals are having a pity party for themselves. “What I don’t get is why the world made me so overweight yet expects me to fit down chimneys,” Santa grumbled over his beer. “What are you whining about? I’m expected to deliver eggs!” said the Easter Bunny. “Do I look like a chicken to you?"	136
[WP] Hours after you survive a horrendous car crash, you hear fierce arguing in the back seat. Looking through the rear-view mirror, you see an angel and a demon disagreeing over who has the more right to your soul based on your life’s decisions. Neither of them has counted on your will to live.	124
[WP] You’re an infamous assassin who's done enough killing. But the day you go to retire, a guy with alabaster skin wearing a dark suit turns up inside your home. All this time, you thought you did it for money. Turns out even Death has field agents and he’s not accepting your resignation.	120
[WP] You’ve always worn a bandana because it hides your third eye. When in use, you see people’s true natures. From the shadows of a tavern where you work, you peruse the patrons for fun. Tonight, two rowdy patrons in the corner don’t exist and four others with abyssal depths are now looking at you.	120
[WP] “That’s the funniest story I’ve ever heard!” a judge declares as you’re awarded your prize money for spinning such a wild tale. You take the money because you need it, but as your eyes scan the audience, there’s at least one set of eyes out there that knows you didn’t make it up. At all.	118
[WP] “Humans are tenacious fools who detonated nuclear weapons on their own homeworld! They nailed their god to a piece of wood and instead of retreating when they should, they cling to hope and die holding on!” “You say all that like it’s a bad thing and you’re still joining their unit, sergeant.”	115
[WP] You have been paid an absolute fortune to negotiate the release of nine prisoners with double the fee if they are released unharmed. Retirement money, as it were. The only problem? The hostages are being held by your ex.	113
[WP] As the temperatures continue to soar to ever-increasing new highs, you jokingly turn to the nearest person to you who you don’t know and say, “I guess this is what they meant by Hell on Earth.” Their eyes widen, and behind the pupils, you see a hint of flames. “Who told you?!”	110
[WP]You’re a spy from Mars, sent to keep an eye on the Terrans. As a cover story, you marry a local, but have plenty of excuses at the ready for why you shouldn’t breed. Turns out your SO doesn’t want kids either. Over time your feelings become genuine. Then you discover they’re a spy from Venus.	109
[WP] In a fantasy setting, you’re the child of an oracle. With paper and charcoal, you can draw detailed maps of your immediate area, including what monsters are where. Your temple has been overrun and you have been put to work. Up until now, you’ve never lied. That doesn’t mean, you can’t start.	106

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