/u/BaronBigly's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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The sanctuary for abandoned animals and humans in need was a brilliant use of public funds but also a marvel of engineering with a focus on green energy.

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Of three things I was certain: he was a vampire, some part of him wanted my blood, and I was in love with him.

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Our family lives alone in a very remote area, so when my daughter got pregnant people came from far and wide to see the immaculate conception.

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[NOV23] I don’t know why my neighbor gifted my daughter a framed picture of our dog, but I placed it on her desk anyway.

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The sledding spot was quite crowded and I waited all day for the perfect moment to take my heavy Toboggan sled down the steep, snowy hill.

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[NOV23] I have a first date with the girl of my dreams tonight and my stomach is acting up terribly.

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[NOV23] “I’m sorry officer I don’t know who this kid is, I’ve never seen them before.”

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“These aren’t polyps, they’re eggs, and many have already hatched.”

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After drilling through the wall we pump the gas and wait until all the little snakes are dead.

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I apologized to the school bus driver for smearing dog feces in my hair and explained to her that I did it because I’m autistic.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The sanctuary for abandoned animals and humans in need was a brilliant use of public funds but also a marvel of engineering with a focus on green energy.	1
Of three things I was certain: he was a vampire, some part of him wanted my blood, and I was in love with him.	1
Our family lives alone in a very remote area, so when my daughter got pregnant people came from far and wide to see the immaculate conception.	1
[NOV23] I don’t know why my neighbor gifted my daughter a framed picture of our dog, but I placed it on her desk anyway.	1
The sledding spot was quite crowded and I waited all day for the perfect moment to take my heavy Toboggan sled down the steep, snowy hill.	1
[NOV23] I have a first date with the girl of my dreams tonight and my stomach is acting up terribly.	1
[NOV23] “I’m sorry officer I don’t know who this kid is, I’ve never seen them before.”	1
“These aren’t polyps, they’re eggs, and many have already hatched.”	1
After drilling through the wall we pump the gas and wait until all the little snakes are dead.	1
I apologized to the school bus driver for smearing dog feces in my hair and explained to her that I did it because I’m autistic.	1