/u/Capon-breath's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

I left my parents down stairs and went to bed and opened up Pornhub on my phone.

60 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

"Humans are destroying the planet and only aggressive radical action can save it," I tell my children.

59 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

If they knew what I did with all those Children teeth I've collected over the years....

57 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

They said the devil was inside me, they beat me and cut my private parts to drive him out.

45 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

"You seem nervous, relax baby, this will be better than your wildest dreams" the hooker assured me.

41 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

All I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth.

39 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

Amazing new dating site, we pay you $10,000 dollars to join!

38 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

Remember the Dr Seuss book "Cat in the Hat"?

32 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

He looked shocked when I offered to lend him one of my films, stuffed a little metal tin in his pocket and hurried away.

26 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

Chained in the cellar, I was sad at first when the bad man came to take my sister away.

25 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I left my parents down stairs and went to bed and opened up Pornhub on my phone.	60
"Humans are destroying the planet and only aggressive radical action can save it," I tell my children.	59
If they knew what I did with all those Children teeth I've collected over the years....	57
They said the devil was inside me, they beat me and cut my private parts to drive him out.	45
"You seem nervous, relax baby, this will be better than your wildest dreams" the hooker assured me.	41
All I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth.	39
Amazing new dating site, we pay you $10,000 dollars to join!	38
Remember the Dr Seuss book "Cat in the Hat"?	32
He looked shocked when I offered to lend him one of my films, stuffed a little metal tin in his pocket and hurried away.	26
Chained in the cellar, I was sad at first when the bad man came to take my sister away.	25