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/u/CerumenCandies's posts

What do C3PO and R2D2 need to retain their memories?

97 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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So, apparently a sexologist is NOT someone who reads fortunes from genitals.

84 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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Being quite the genius, I'd like to invent a time machine.

77 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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I'm planning a career as a cover artist performing only Cardi B tunes, all at 140 bpm.

68 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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"Hey, this is supposed to be a gym, but that big guy is just standing there, staring at the dumbbells."

68 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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"I'm sorry Mr Frankenstein, but this concerns your son, Victor."

20 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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Already annoyed by the tick in my eye, I wondered why the hobo looking guy in the train kept staring at me for the most of my half hour commute.

12 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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"Oh look father", I said, "I got a neat new Minion figure from my Happy Meal!"

9 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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