/u/Chemical-Elk-1299's posts
With the enemy closing in on my position, I began tearing fingernails from the captured spy’s hands, determined to get the truth.
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When I blew .29 on the breathalyzer at the scene of the crash, the police refused to believe that I’d never drank before.
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I found my father hanging from the highest tree on the property, his face blissful, his body coated in powder blowing away in the breeze.
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“What had he been eating?”, asked the doctor, as the MRI revealed innumerable white masses across the patient’s body.
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[AUG24] My son was born different than the other children, but the entire community felt compelled to help me keep him fed.
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[AUG24] “I want that one”, my son had exclaimed, as he excitedly pointed at the tiny kitten huddled behind glass at the community animal shelter.
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[AUG24] The old community pool was basically an untreated pond, a fact I discovered when a gush of warm, hazy water went straight up my nose.
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The fortune teller said my greed would soon drag my wife down with me, so I resigned as CEO and spent my days traveling the world with her on our yacht.
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