/u/CrumbledTGMS's posts
[WP] You’re a barista at Starbucks. Everything’s normal. Well, apart from the eldritch being that comes in an pours coffee on itself. And the headless ones who come in for cups of mocha every day. And the demon lord who’s coming in every week to flirt with your coworker who’s secretly the hero.
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[WP] They say there’s nothing magical about a punch. Or a kick. But when you, a hulking mage with 2 meters of muscle, intercept a platoon of warriors, they are proven wrong.
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[WP] Canadian goose loved hunting humans so much, we almost went extinct. Now, they’re keeping us so they can hunt us later. Run. While you still can.
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[WP] “Sir, this is a Starbucks. Please do not try to eat our employees.” The barista sighed, before blowing the eldritch being to smithereens, then serving a cup of coffee to a customer as if nothing had happened.
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[WP] The aliens were afraid of us, not because of our technology, or our numbers. No. They were afraid of our ability to cook and eat almost everything that moves.
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[WP] When we were introduced to the humans, one of them showed us the Canadian geese. They called it a friend and let us bring one home, but our kingsguard were all defeated by the ball of fluff. You are a scholar recording the events.
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[WP] When the aliens came, they did not expect that their destruction would be like this. We, humans, humbly introduce you to — bee warfare.
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[WP] The title of Demon King is given to those who wreck havoc and sow the seeds of doom. You didn’t expect you’d become one by feeding a few Canadian geese stale bread. You are the Stale Bread Man.
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