/u/DJEagles11's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

Now that Halloween is over, the thought of Santa Claus coming soon, puts me in a constant state of anxiety.

28 upvotes

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Being very awkward, and self conscious, I make sure to do all my bowel movements in the privacy of my own home.

27 upvotes

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"Remember Dereck, you are a child of God, and you must obey his commandments."

25 upvotes

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Started my Advent Calendar, counting down the days until I get the Christmas present I have waited all year for.

14 upvotes

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They'll love this teddy bear, that I bought from Wal-Mart.

13 upvotes

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My body contorted in pain, as the voice exclaimed that the pain will continue, unless I relent.

11 upvotes

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I woke to find my wife rocking and singing to my new born daughter in the still of the night.

10 upvotes

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My cat, Bailey keeps destroying the screens in my windows, trying to get in.

9 upvotes

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I wish everyone would shut the Hell up, so I can sleep.

8 upvotes

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Today My wife and I had two beautiful, healthy, plump baby boys, and we couldn’t be more thrilled.

7 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Now that Halloween is over, the thought of Santa Claus coming soon, puts me in a constant state of anxiety.	28
Being very awkward, and self conscious, I make sure to do all my bowel movements in the privacy of my own home.	27
"Remember Dereck, you are a child of God, and you must obey his commandments."	25
Started my Advent Calendar, counting down the days until I get the Christmas present I have waited all year for.	14
They'll love this teddy bear, that I bought from Wal-Mart.	13
My body contorted in pain, as the voice exclaimed that the pain will continue, unless I relent.	11
I woke to find my wife rocking and singing to my new born daughter in the still of the night.	10
My cat, Bailey keeps destroying the screens in my windows, trying to get in.	9
I wish everyone would shut the Hell up, so I can sleep.	8
Today My wife and I had two beautiful, healthy, plump baby boys, and we couldn’t be more thrilled.	7