/u/DeadComposer's posts
[WP] She holds a picture of a horse in front of your face. "Telephone," she says helpfully. "Like hell," you reply. "That's a horse." She shakes her head sadly.
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[WP] "Everybody here's waiting for their chance to get into heaven," the Devil told you. "You'll just have to wait for your application to go through the system. Jesus, I applied a million years ago."
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[WP] There's a crib in your room. There are toys on the floor. There are disposable diapers in the trash. There are jars of strained carrots in the cupboard. The problem is, you have no memory of ever having a baby.
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[WP] Civilization has collapsed; everywhere people are fighting and killing each other. You know what the problem is, and how to stop the violence. It's a simple matter of destroying the villain behind it all--your next-door neighbor.
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[WP] You die, go to heaven, and come face to face with Hitler, who's equally surprised at the fact that he's there.
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[WP] "The prophecy tells of a Chosen One who will defeat the forces of evil. That's as specific as it gets, so we're just going to choose someone."
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