/u/Denver650's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

After I gave the intruders the code to my safe, they looked at me with blank stares.

9716 upvotes

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We offer cremation and, of course, traditional coffin burials.

3420 upvotes

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On my first night of house-sitting, I was surprised to learn that the owners had a large, black dog.

837 upvotes

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If your parents could see you now, they would be so disappointed.

218 upvotes

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It was cute when my son said I needed to build him a treehouse right away.

48 upvotes

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In a haze of rage and guilt, I attacked the man laying in my wife’s bed.

41 upvotes

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Following my biopsy, my doctor assured me that the tumor was not cancerous.

20 upvotes

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My dying grandfather, confused and incoherent, begged us to protect his treasures.

18 upvotes

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At first, I was thrilled to see that I weighed less on the scale.

16 upvotes

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Last night, I dreamt that I was killed by a nuclear explosion.

12 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
After I gave the intruders the code to my safe, they looked at me with blank stares.	9716
We offer cremation and, of course, traditional coffin burials.	3420
On my first night of house-sitting, I was surprised to learn that the owners had a large, black dog.	837
If your parents could see you now, they would be so disappointed.	218
It was cute when my son said I needed to build him a treehouse right away.	48
In a haze of rage and guilt, I attacked the man laying in my wife’s bed.	41
Following my biopsy, my doctor assured me that the tumor was not cancerous.	20
My dying grandfather, confused and incoherent, begged us to protect his treasures.	18
At first, I was thrilled to see that I weighed less on the scale.	16
Last night, I dreamt that I was killed by a nuclear explosion.	12