/u/DreadPirate-Wesley's posts
[WP] You never wanted to be a wizard, but the ability runs deep in your family. Magical phrases have always rolled off the tongue of your powerful ancestors - something that you’ve never been interested in. Your Tourette’s, it seems, has other plans.
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[WP] All your life, you’ve wanted to be a “super villain”. But fate (or something) has marked you as a vessel of good. Now, no matter what you do or say, amazing good comes from it, and (to your increasing frustration) you are being hailed by people as a super hero.
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[WP] You’ve been attending the Lycanthropy support group for some time now, but thus far, you’ve been unwilling to share. Today, however, you muster the nerve to speak, and the reason for your silence becomes obvious: “Hello, my name is Todd, and I’m a Were-Roach.”
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[WP] Maybe you’re crazy, maybe not. All you know is that your emotions manifest as living people / creatures that interact directly with you. They come and go whenever they’re needed, and often when the aren’t.
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[WP] You are blind, but have no problem talking to people and making friends. However, lately, circumstances have caused you to suspect that some of your “friends” may not be among the living.
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[WP] It’s common knowledge that Genies love granting wishes in ways their masters did not intend. Therefore, you have hired a lawyer that specializes in language-specific wish contracts, and Genies hate the guy!
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[WP] Merlin glared at young Arthur, visually quelling the fear rising within him at the sight of the sword clutched in the boy’s hand. “Instead of wondering why the sword chose you,” the wizard growled, “perhaps you should ask why I trapped it in the stone in the first place.”
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[WP] You are awoken by a sound downstairs. Your wife says, “Honey, can you go see what that was?” Begrudgingly, you pull yourself out of bed and fumble down the stairs only to stop in sudden horror, remembering that you don’t have a wife.
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[WP] Your wealthy uncle’s estate attorney looks over the will again. “Yes, I’m quite certain. All that is written under your portion is two words: The Giant.” It was then that you noticed the 18-wheeler backing down the driveway and an impossibly large hand opening it’s rear door.
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[WP] You’ve always had the strange ability to hear theme music accompanying your life and situations. You’ve been enjoying your retirement from active duty, when one day you hear something that you haven’t heard since your days at the front line: the driving crescendo of the battle theme.
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