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/u/FagnusTwatfield's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

I asked the Genie to be the most beautiful woman for 100 miles.

64 upvotes
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This morning I woke up with one leg.

55 upvotes
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I smiled as I layed out the tray of Hambugers before my boss, hoping to impress him with an unforgettable luncheon.

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I thought it was hilarious telling my Husband that I found a way to check the incognito history.

52 upvotes
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10

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Jesus wept.

46 upvotes
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"Listen, weve all had our memories erased so let's work together and put someone in charge, I recommend the cop guy" She said pointing at me.

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"They're identical twins Doctor, how can one be so insane and one be so normal?"

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At 11, Stephanie was too scared to tell anyone about her secret brother who only lived for a day.

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The Aliens weren't alarmed when they visited a dead Earth, they'd seen wiped out Planets before.

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