/u/FennecWF's posts
[WP] You work an office job, drive a cheap compact car, and adore sudoku. You are the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse and also the most dangerous: Ennui.
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[WP] Nobody has the heart to tell the new 'Evil Trickster Genie' that he's supposed to twist wishes to make them WORSE, not BETTER.
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[WP] Santa started at the notice before him. Thomas Turkey, the Czar of Thanksgiving, had made his move. He stated that he would no longer relinquish December to Christmas. He and Emperor Easter would soon be the only holiday rulers, each taking half the year. They had declared war.
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[WP] As punishment for your grades, your parents took your modern tech and sent you to live with an Amish cousin. You don't understand how people can live with convenience stores, 2 day delivery, cars, cell phones, and internet in the year 2121! They're so old-fashioned!
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[WP] Rewind was an invincible hero whose powers let him live in rewind, showing up bloodied and beaten, only to be healed by each attack. But then one villain decided to try doing absolutely nothing to him. And the results were shocking.
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[WP] This assassin was special. Known as 'The Black Cat', they considered themselves a completely untouchable killer. Not because of any special techniques or training, but because it was always just a sudden instance of bad luck that killed their target.
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[WP] A knock on your door revealed a man with a pyramid for a head and one large eye. He simply said, in a delightful tone, "Hello, I'm with the Illuminati. We're going door to door to make sure your conspiracies are working properly. May I come in?"
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[WP] "My dad hated me. He'd say 'Lord Universe, the Dark Conqueror has no son' every time I refused to obliterate his enemies or wield the might of his armies to oppress the free." "And how does that make you feel, my prince?" "Please, just call me Kalthor."
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[WP] When people want an assassination done right, they call a professional. When they want to save money, they call you.
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