/u/ForgottenWell's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

As my first born happily ate his broccoli, I was certain he had been replaced by a replicant.

287 upvotes

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I thought the worst part about being a vampire would be the sun.

250 upvotes

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My daughter’s animatronic dog wouldn’t stop barking, so I grabbed the box it came in to see if I could figure out how to shut it up.

175 upvotes

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I told the devil, "If you let my daughter live, I'll suffer any fate."

155 upvotes

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Did you know the easiest way to get the skin off a clove of garlic is by smashing it and peeling it away?

110 upvotes

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After the chubby man confessed his love of underage children, I informed him I couldn’t arrest him unless he had proof he committed a crime.

106 upvotes

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I know this isn't the place to preach, but wearing a mask saved my grandfather's life.

99 upvotes

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I carefully unwrapped the powdered cyanide I ordered from the dark web to dispose of my nosy wife without an embarrassing divorce.

91 upvotes

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"I knight thee Wolfsbane," said the beloved king to a bloodied knight, "the only survivor from the hunting party in the deep forest."

86 upvotes

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My youngest son is very excited for the new spider-man movie, so I decided to give him a little surprise.

75 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
As my first born happily ate his broccoli, I was certain he had been replaced by a replicant.	287
I thought the worst part about being a vampire would be the sun.	250
My daughter’s animatronic dog wouldn’t stop barking, so I grabbed the box it came in to see if I could figure out how to shut it up.	175
I told the devil, "If you let my daughter live, I'll suffer any fate."	155
Did you know the easiest way to get the skin off a clove of garlic is by smashing it and peeling it away?	110
After the chubby man confessed his love of underage children, I informed him I couldn’t arrest him unless he had proof he committed a crime.	106
I know this isn't the place to preach, but wearing a mask saved my grandfather's life.	99
I carefully unwrapped the powdered cyanide I ordered from the dark web to dispose of my nosy wife without an embarrassing divorce.	91
"I knight thee Wolfsbane," said the beloved king to a bloodied knight, "the only survivor from the hunting party in the deep forest."	86
My youngest son is very excited for the new spider-man movie, so I decided to give him a little surprise.	75