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/u/GiantJawa's posts

I cursed out the cultists who knocked on the door screaming about trying to "save" me so I don't "burn."

204 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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my dream job is to be the boss in a crematorium.

87 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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A cognitive researcher studying a healthy brain and a dementia addled brain found a major difference between the two.

45 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I woke up super early so I pissed on the side of the bowl to make less noise. My roommate was mad cause he just wanted to eat his frosted flakes in peace.

42 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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What did the kid without arms get on Christmas?

12 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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No more handouts.

7 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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The house painter's new assistant comes back to the truck and the painter says "you finished painting the porch already?" Assistant says "yes and it's pronounced Porsche."

5 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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