/u/Goat_To_Space's posts
[WP] You're staring at a shop that's blatantly selling cursed items. Obviously using any of them yourself is a horrible idea, but the holidays are coming up soon and a number of your relatives are on your personal shit list...
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[WP] You're an architect working for a mid-scale construction company... specialized in supervillain lairs.
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[WP] As it turns out, the dragon IS the princess. All that business with having knights come to 'slay' her is basically testing to see if they'd be any good as her royal consort when she becomes Queen.
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[WP] You're a vampire hunter with a non-traditional choice of primary weapon. You don't need stakes or garlic or silver bullets, because you've got a fusion-powered plasma cannon.
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[WP] When bargaining with the Fae, it's far safer to start by stating what you're willing to pay and see what you can get for it. But sometimes you just have to get one specific boon - in your case, you need a terminal illness cured.
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[WP] To permanently get rid of vampires, it was once common practice to plant trees in their ashes. Centuries later, identifying which trees contain imprisoned vampires is now a major problem for the lumber industry.
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[WP] After a nuclear apocalypse (that wasn't their fault) an AI is trying to re-establish civilization. Annoyingly, all the survivors they rescue keep calling them a goddess, and after years of trying to correct them the AI simply gives up.
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[WP] As it turns out, the fact that humans denied social contact will legitimately go insane and lose their grip on reality has lead the Galactic Council to classify humanity as a hive mind species. The ACTUAL hive mind species are none too pleased about this classification error either.
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[WP] As you're marched up to be sacrificed, the priest whispers to you "relax, sword's fake." "But won't you cut my head off?" "Yes, but you'll live; sword's fake."
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