/u/Guntztuffer's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

"No," I chuckled in response, "no, spiders can't lay eggs in your ears, now come lay your head down."

2870 upvotes

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[JAN22] "That's right, according the Monster Manual, trolls can only be killed by acid or fire," the DM recalled.

44 upvotes

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My wife and I have been dancing for nine solid hours and she is begging me to continue.

23 upvotes

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As a result of this year's crop failures, Dear Leader will address the nation tonight to urge our farmers to work harder.

20 upvotes

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INCOMING TRANSMISSION: Captain, this planet is uncharted and uninhabitable; all bioscans negative; no evidence exists of structures or wreckages to suggest any sort of previous civilization existing here.

1 upvotes

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Physician's remark: Patient exhibiting irritation to the genitalia cleared of suspected pubic lice infestation.

1 upvotes

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Mom and dad will be so proud when they get home and find out Tommy won our contest!

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
"No," I chuckled in response, "no, spiders can't lay eggs in your ears, now come lay your head down."	2870
[JAN22] "That's right, according the Monster Manual, trolls can only be killed by acid or fire," the DM recalled.	44
My wife and I have been dancing for nine solid hours and she is begging me to continue.	23
As a result of this year's crop failures, Dear Leader will address the nation tonight to urge our farmers to work harder.	20
INCOMING TRANSMISSION: Captain, this planet is uncharted and uninhabitable; all bioscans negative; no evidence exists of structures or wreckages to suggest any sort of previous civilization existing here.	1
Physician's remark: Patient exhibiting irritation to the genitalia cleared of suspected pubic lice infestation.	1
Mom and dad will be so proud when they get home and find out Tommy won our contest!	1