/u/GuyAwks's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

I never listened to my friend when he tried to convince me that plastic straws are bad for mankind.

63 upvotes

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As a kid, I used to show off my very own Art Attacks to my family.

61 upvotes

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The courtroom chuckled as the judge sentenced the incompetent pair of would-be bank robbers.

59 upvotes

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Every night, I play a game of peekaboo with my baby in his decorated crib.

49 upvotes

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The rules of strip poker were simple: every time you lose, you remove an article of clothing.

44 upvotes

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I was just told about 420 Blaze It and wanted to try it.

40 upvotes

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I, for one, never pay attention to “fake internet points”.

37 upvotes

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Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep.

29 upvotes

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I really can’t stand people projecting all of their silly problems onto others.

23 upvotes

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Seeking zen, I was intrigued when my hippie friend suggested healing crystals and light therapy.

22 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I never listened to my friend when he tried to convince me that plastic straws are bad for mankind.	63
As a kid, I used to show off my very own Art Attacks to my family.	61
The courtroom chuckled as the judge sentenced the incompetent pair of would-be bank robbers.	59
Every night, I play a game of peekaboo with my baby in his decorated crib.	49
The rules of strip poker were simple: every time you lose, you remove an article of clothing.	44
I was just told about 420 Blaze It and wanted to try it.	40
I, for one, never pay attention to “fake internet points”.	37
Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep.	29
I really can’t stand people projecting all of their silly problems onto others.	23
Seeking zen, I was intrigued when my hippie friend suggested healing crystals and light therapy.	22