/u/Human_Fly13's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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My girlfriend and I have a foolproof method of birth control and I am a little shocked that more people don't use it.

1030 upvotes

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My girlfriend left me when I started popping pills every day.

504 upvotes

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My wife is the only person who makes good asparagus

223 upvotes

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My neighbors are afraid of my son.

203 upvotes

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As I tested out the computer I was interested in buying I couldn't help but look at the cost in distress and Mumble " for this price the computer should be sentient"

16 upvotes

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There's an invasion at the border...

13 upvotes

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I keep a head in the cooler in my garage.

3 upvotes

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Help me...

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My girlfriend and I have a foolproof method of birth control and I am a little shocked that more people don't use it.	1030
My girlfriend left me when I started popping pills every day.	504
My wife is the only person who makes good asparagus	223
My neighbors are afraid of my son.	203
As I tested out the computer I was interested in buying I couldn't help but look at the cost in distress and Mumble " for this price the computer should be sentient"	16
There's an invasion at the border...	13
I keep a head in the cooler in my garage.	3
Help me...	1